As of this past year all of my close friends have gotten into serious relationships and I am still single. This is pretty much the story of my life because I have always been the single one in my group of friends which has never bothered me until now. I’m not a virgin and have had sex with multiple partners but I can’t help but think that something is wrong with me because I am 23, have never had a serious relationship or been in love. I’ve been trying to find someone for a while now but have had no luck. I’m starting to freak out a little and was wondering what you thought about my situation.
l just want to start out by saying there is nothing wrong with you for never having a relationship or being in love, and you are definitely not the only 23 year old that is in this position. It is completely understandable that you feel down on yourself due to the circumstances, but I think it is important to remember that you are still young, there is plenty of time, and stressing about it will not help – it may even make it worse.
Coming from a 21 year old, our lives are just beginning and comparing what we do and don’t have, to what our friends do and don’t have will only set us back on our own paths. It is important to stay focused on yourself and what you have going on, rather than trying to keep up with what your friends are experiencing.
And girl, you are not alone.
So many of us compare ourselves to our friends because we feel that if we are not on the same page as them, something is wrong with us. Especially in this day and age where we all have the internet at our fingertips making it almost impossible to tune out other people’s lives. So it is totally normal to feel inadequate when your friends all seem to be really happy, but it is important to remember that everything happens for a reason and there will come a time when you will find that type of connection as well.
Although I know you are longing for a serious, intimate relationship it is also good to keep in mind that being single at 23 is not the worst thing in the world. It only means that you can live your life completely on your own terms, make decisions exactly as you like them, and be as selfish as you want with your time. So maybe try looking at it that way, and focus on living your life for you right now while you can.
To sum everything up, my advice would be for you to try and focus more on positive things in your own life and to limit comparing yourself to your friends, even though it can be hard. If I were you, I also would hold back on looking for love as it tends to come when you least expect it – cliché but sooo true. For now, go be single and do your thing!! Have fun, stay positive, and just know that love will eventually come.
Keep me updated on how things are going!
Best of luck girl xx
If you have any questions of your own, or just want some advice, shoot me an email at lola@thelushspot and I will answer it as soon as possible! Your information is completely confidential and will only stay between me and you. The only thing I may use in a post is your first name – but if you prefer me not to, just specify that in the email.